I looked at my pen on the wooden table. I used to create worlds, fought battles, and won because of it. As a child, I often expressed myself through writing. My pen has always been my voice and my friend.
But now, under the fading yellow light of the lampshade where it glimmers, when I held my pen, it suddenly felt unfamiliar beneath my fingers. Can a passion lay dormant for so long you lose it? Have I always been a writer or I just used to be one?
I’ve always been curious about who I am as an individual, and whenever I fill out applications, I often state that I always aim to be the best version of myself. But what does that actually mean? What is the best me?
I realized that before becoming the best version of myself, I have to know the difference between the ideal me (who I hope to be) and the actual me (who I really am).
The ideal me (who I hope to be) vs the actual me (who I really am)
The ideal self is who we want to be. It’s the person we aspire to be. The ideal self is often based on our values and beliefs. We may strive to be the ideal self in our careers, relationships, or other areas of life.
The actual self is who we really are. It’s our day-to-day reality. The actual self is often different from the ideal self. We may have flaws or areas for improvement. The actual self is often more realistic than the ideal self.
For example, the actual me is an introvert with a tendency to overthink and analyze everything. At the same time, I also have a strong need for meaningful social interaction.
My ideal self would be someone who is easygoing and able to engage in conversation with anyone — even strangers — without feeling awkward or uncomfortable.
I think the key is to find a balance between the two. To strive for our ideal selves, but also to accept our actual selves. To be an introvert who overthinks, but also to be easygoing and social. To be who I currently am at the moment, but also to be a writer.
Choosing which concept of self will be my reality
The concept of self is the way you see yourself and your place in the world. It is made up of all the beliefs, attitudes, behaviors and emotions that shape who you are and how you interact with others.
For example, if you believe that intelligence is important, then that belief will affect the choices you make in school or at work. If you believe that wealth is more important than happiness, then this belief will also affect your choices about how much money you earn and how much time you spend earning it.
Ultimately, the best way forward is to combine both ideal and actual self traits. I can strive to be the best version of myself while also being honest about my current reality. This way, I can stay motivated to improve myself while also being realistic about my progress.
Having the courage to live out a concept of self that is most authentic to the life I desire
It takes a great deal of courage to live out a concept of self that is most authentic to the life we desire. We are constantly faced with challenges and obstacles that test our resolve. We live in a culture where we are constantly being told who we should be. We are encouraged to follow trends and fit in as much as possible. It can be challenging to silence the noise and listen to our own inner voice. But it is so important to do what is true to ourselves.
When we are living in alignment with our authentic selves, we are living in our power. We are able to create the life we want to live. We are no longer held back by the fears and doubts that once held us back. We are free to be who we are meant to be.
3 Steps to Building the Best Version of Self
Step 1: Identify your strengths.
The first step to building the best version of yourself is to determine what your strengths are. You might be able to do this by asking yourself questions like, “What am I good at?” or “What have others said that I do well?”
Once you’ve identified your strengths, it’s time to figure out how they fit into your life. How can you use these strengths to achieve your goals and realize your dreams?
Step 2: Identify areas for growth.
The second step in building the best version of yourself is figuring out where you need improvement. Are there certain skills that you want to get better at? Are there situations where you feel uncomfortable? For example, if you’re an introvert who is uncomfortable being around people for long periods of time, then perhaps this is an area where you can work on growing as a person.
Step 3: Take action!
In order for change to happen, we must take action and put our thoughts into practice. This is why so many New Year’s resolutions fail — people think about what they want to change or improve on, but never actually make any changes because they don’t take any action. The key here is to take small steps towards your goal.
No matter which concept of self you choose to focus on, remember that you’re the only one who can define your reality. You’re in control of your life, and you can choose to be whoever you want to be.
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